Gospel Reflections for February 19 2017
Every Marriage is a series of stops and starts.
This weekend we celebrate World Marriage Day.
I have been a priest for 39 years now and have witnessed well over 1,000 marriages. I have stood in front of so many young couples at the very beginning of so many stories of love and commitment.
I have wonderful memories of happy people, cheering relatives, champagne toasts, and busy photographers recording every moment.
I also know that the cheerful happiness of that day can change as challenges come along; children are born, the economy turns south, jobs become difficult, and health and sickness become real concerns. Love can stop with each of these events.
The attentiveness, care, and affection of your first years can slowly transform into routine behaviors and, worse still, taking each other for granted as well. The constant and wonderful words of affection for each other can become forgotten in the mundane daily management of a household after marriage.
I often wonder what advice I can give couples when I see them so happy on their wedding day that will help them overcome what I know are their challenges ahead. What can I say that will help restart their love when it comes to a stop?
I am lucky that I am right in front of every couple as they say their wedding vows, and can see the power of those majestic vows transform two persons into one couple.
So perhaps the way forward for every couple …is to say those words again to each other the next day after their ceremony …and then the next day …and the next day again!
After a while, the words may not be as stylized as your original vows. Maybe it will be just the way you greet each other in the morning, or in the evening before bed, or how you make up after an argument, or how you hold hands, or just how you look at each other, but in all those unique and personal ways, the more you renew the commitment you made on your wedding day, the more your commitment will last, and always restart after a stop.
You will have that chance today at Mass using the same words from the marriage ceremony.
Every marriage is a series of stops and starts. Every time those majestic vows are repeated; your marriage begins anew.
God Bless!
Fr. Dave
Thirty-nine years, wow! I imagine those couples consider you as part of their extended family.
Yes, I feel it is quite a humble honor to be in at the beginning of a family.
Dear Fr. Dave. My marriage to Barbara lasted for exactly 69 years. We were young but we met in church where both our families worshipped. I fell in love with Barbara from the first moment I saw her. Our mutual love was strong. and enduring. But the more modern mood is that marriage works only so long as love endures.. When that temper arrives, marriage collapses. By now the general temper is that marriage is OK as long as both are happy. There is no foundational structure to support it in tough times. Our foundation was in a shared faith in Christ and His Gospel. I despair observing so many couples regarding marriage is a temporary arrangement so easily abandoned in favor of a new love. It is sad to know that many evangelicals as well as Roman Catholics have embraced this modern notion. What can be done to restore the classic view of marriage?
Great points. In our marriage preparation programs, we emphasize that “Love is a decision that is made every day” to help young couples change their view of love as a feeling to one of a commitment. Of course, we are up against a culture, reinforced by entertainment media that emphasizes feelings only. This week, Time Magazine published a special edition called “The Science of Marriage.” It features many articles on all stages of relationships, from first meeting, the falling in love, to engagement, to early years of marriage, and later years. I have to say that it is excellent, and reinforces everything that Christians have been saying about love for 21 centuries. If Time magazine is on board, I am glad to see that!
I look forward to your weekly articles. I will be coming to Ca. in March and will at several of you university series..
See you in the University Series!
Hi Father Dave,
As always, you’ve shown great insight into the union and communion of a husband and wife through the sacrament of marriage. Yes, words and action of love, regardless of obstacles and sorrows, keep a couple bound together … as well as their prayerful relationship. I honestly don’t know how people get through life without faith and prayer. It’s everything, and it gives us the grace to love.
One thousand marriages and thirty-nine years a priest is a reason to celebrate. God bless you now and forever.
Thank you! I am humbled and honored to have been at the start of so many families.
What beautiful advice for married couples, Father. I am going to pass it on to my children and grandchildren. I wish my husband were still alive to make that daily commitment. to.
Thank you! I hope you family finds it helpful.
How excellent is your commitment to the Sacrament of Matrimony. We married are thankful for your support. I submit that the ups and downs of life are not unique to the married life, and that anyone who is in any relation with others is bound to run into conflict. So we all have to confront conflicts in relationship.
Margaret and I have not been free of conflict, but I believe that having children has strongly tied us together. God shows you that you are responsible for your children, and it is easier to fulfill that responsibility with help–maybe even not possible without it.
So we are happy to renew our marriage vows today and always. We recently enjoyed our 61 st anniversary.
Happy 61st Anniversary! That is a noble accomplishment!
Having a christian perspective on marriage is important today as many in our society
are trying to redefine marriage to fit their particular social or political agendas!
The sacrament of marriage is a beautiful way to grow with the family as we strive
through hurts and forgiveness to live and love like Jesus!.
Yes, we will keep our teaching on marriage no matter what!
Dear Fr. Dave, I feel so blessed that it was who who stood before me and Rich on our wedding day nine years ago, The journey our marriage has taken isn’t the one I was expecting, and there certainly have been some stops and starts. The wisdom you imparted to me during difficult times still guides me today. Thank you for this article and reminding me that love is more than a feeling, it’s a commitment. Another saying I like is, “Love is a verb.” It is a choice we make every day, in good times and in bad.
God bless you,
Jennifer
Beautifully said! Yes, “love is a verb.”I like that!
Father Dave, thank you so much for this beautiful and meaningful reflection. We found it so important that we sent it on to our children. (You must be touching lives everywhere!). We definitely know the importance of respect, love and kind words for one another. They have become even more clear since Peter’s heart attack two weeks ago….. He’s now doing well. Thank you, God!!
God bless you and your work, Father Dave.
Thank you for writing, …and especially the news that Peter is doing well now!
Father Dave,
How beautiful that you celebrated 1000 marriages and how blessed we were that you celebrated our lovely daughter Ginas wedding!!! We will always hold in our hearts that you were a precious part of Jesus becoming one with our Gina and our Matt!!!( and they becoming one with our Jesus!!! Soooooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!Love your words of repeating our marriage vows daily!! Love has to be given to each other daily to grow!!!! and become the marriage God blessed us with!!! It is also a precious blessing having you, Father Dave guiding us in our lives!!! We thank our loving God for the gift of each other the gift of our marriage, the gift of our children and the gift of you!!
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, franca and Dick
Thank you!